


The Last

by EmmyStarlight



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28184397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmyStarlight/pseuds/EmmyStarlight
Summary: What happens when you're the last Animorph left?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	The Last

It was a terrible thing, to be the last Animorph. 

When Jake had come to Cassie in search of Tobias because he was leaving to find Ax, whatever had happened to him. He wanted Tobias to be there. What hurt though was that he didn’t want Cassie. Jake had told her she wasn’t _allowed_ to go. It had stung a little, at the time. Another sign of the rift between them, she had thought, before she realized how much Jake had hurt her in that moment. She, alone of all of them, had built something after the war. She had a purpose. A mission (many missions) that demanded she stay on Earth. She still had connections that she cared about and that cared about her. 

Cassie had agreed with him, because Jake had been right. She had so much to do here, so much yet to build and nurture. Jake was still back in the war, still needed the war, not like Cassie who had done what she could to save herself and thrown herself headlong into new projects and new advocacies because she knew if she stopped even for a second all of that pain would catch up with her. 

Part of her had wanted to go. A part of her that had followed him into a hundred battles in a hundred places, that had fought the war as hard as any of them. The part of her that wanted to rage, to ask whether her love for Ax was any different than his or Marco’s or Tobias’. Jake had been right, though, and she had kept that part of her quiet. She had let them go, stayed with her new missions and new projects. Stayed with Ronnie. 

As months turned to years without word of Jake or the ship he had stolen or word of Ax or of what happened to any of them, Cassie continued to build. She built nature preserves, fought against climate change, built a home, built a family and never, ever let herself stop moving because she knew that if she stopped, she might not start again, God help her. She focused only on moving forward because she didn’t know what else was left to her. 

On the tenth anniversary of the end of the war, Cassie locked herself inside her bedroom and wept. No interviews this year, no ceremonies. Only her and her grief. She cried everything that was left of her and more out into her sheets because there was no one left. She was the last of the Animorphs and the weight of it was more than she could bear. She was the only one left who remembered it all, remembered the weight of it, remembered the struggle of trying to save the world when she was only a fourteen-year old who should have been focusing on her Biology homework instead of helping to run a guerilla war. 

All of them were gone and there were times she wished she had fought for Jake to take her with him because then at least she wouldn’t have to carry this. Wouldn’t have to wake up in a cold sweat with the taste of Hork-Bajir flesh between her teeth. Wouldn’t have to smile for cameras and pretend to remember them fondly. 

She did remember them. She loved them, all of them, more than she could say even if there had been distance between them in the end. She loved them more fiercely than she would ever love anyone ever again except perhaps her own children. They had been her friends, her comrades, her family. 

And they had left Cassie behind. They had been right to do it, but she didn’t know if she could forgive Jake for it. Of all the things that Jake had done this one had hurt the most though she hadn’t known it at the time. She was the only one left to remember Tobias the boy and his tousled hair and gentle eyes. She was the only one who remembered Jake and Marco’s dumb arguments about super heroes while they flew together across the California sky. She was the only one who remembered Rachel’s strength and the way she would roll her eyes at Cassie every time she showed up at the mall in flannel and jeans. The only one who remembered Ax and his stupid mouth noises and how much he loved Cinnabon and the time he ate cigarette butts. It wasn’t _fair_.

Cassie thought that she had been lucky, that she had been the one who made it. The one who managed to rebuild something after the peace had broken out. 

The truth was that she had been left to carry the heaviest burden of them all.

**Author's Note:**

> A little ficlet/drabble that rattled around my head a couple days until I wrote it down. Thinking about how sad it would have been to be the only one left standing. I made myself cry writing this so enjoy my tears.


End file.
